Self care – my mother lived with me not once but twice during my adulthood.  It was impossibly stressful both times.  The first time, I did not take care of myself while she was with us.  She was able bodied and working but broke and, frankly, looking for someone to take care of her.  I was in my twenties, working full time with a husband who traveled every week and a two-year-old.  I thought – well, never mind what I thought – I ended up anemic and collapsed with pneumonia away from home.  Poor self-care and poor boundaries were to blame.  The second time she lived with us, thirty years later, she was sick and feeble but of sharp and sound mind.  One evening, I came home with sushi I picked up for myself on the way.  I went to her room to ask her what she’d like for supper and named a few things we had available.  She asked about the sushi and said something about my looking after myself first.  I said yes, I do look after myself.  I think she meant to shame me about not somehow putting her first.  I had learned my lesson thirty years before.  Can’t take care of you if I don’t take care of me.  Here’s an article from Forbes’ Magazine about self care.  Not easy or fun but absolutely necessary.