Self care is not optional
Self care – my mother lived with me not once but twice during my adulthood. It was impossibly stressful both times. The first time, I did not take care of myself while she was with us. She was able bodied and working but broke and, frankly, looking for someone to take care of her. I was in my twenties, working full time with a husband who traveled every week and a two-year-old. I thought – well, never mind what I thought – I ended up anemic and collapsed with pneumonia away from home. Poor self-care and poor boundaries were to blame. The second time she lived with us, thirty years later, she was sick and feeble but of sharp and sound mind. One evening, I came home with sushi I picked up for myself on the way. I went to her room to ask her what she’d like for supper and named a few things we had available. She asked about the sushi and said something about my looking after myself first. I said yes, I do look after myself. I think she meant to shame me about not somehow putting her first. I had learned my lesson thirty years before. Can’t take care of you if I don’t take care of me. Here’s an article from Forbes’ Magazine about self care. Not easy or fun but absolutely necessary.