Self care is not optional

Self care – my mother lived with me not once but twice during my adulthood.  It was impossibly stressful both times.  The first time, I did not take care of myself while she was with us.  She was able bodied and working but broke and, frankly, looking for someone to take care of her.  I was in my twenties, working full time with a husband who traveled every week and a two-year-old.  I thought – well, never mind what I thought – I ended up anemic and collapsed with pneumonia away from home.  Poor self-care and poor boundaries were to blame.  The second time she lived with us, thirty years later, she was sick and feeble but of sharp and sound mind.  One evening, I came home with sushi I picked up for myself on the way.  I went to her room to ask her what she’d like for supper and named a few things we had available.  She asked about the sushi and said something about my looking after myself first.  I said yes, I do look after myself.  I think she meant to shame me about not somehow putting her first.  I had learned my lesson thirty years before.  Can’t take care of you if I don’t take care of me.  Here’s an article from Forbes’ Magazine about self care.  Not easy or fun but absolutely necessary.


Karen Mori Bonner, MS, LPC
368 Highland Colony Parkway
Ridgeland, MS 39157
Office Phone: 601.594.1961 Office

© 2019, Karen Bonner Counselor, LPC
website by